Tuesday, August 29, 2006
raw fear
press and release.
a gentle yet frustrated push.
light pours in through the door crack.
a blur shadow appears in the mirror.
" it's me. "
something gripped her heart,
stuffed her lungs,
and gouged out her soul.
it' s him.
" i just wanted to pass them this, it's something i got for them during the trip.
there's a card inside, pass it to them will you? i just want to see them.."
" leave.. and wait for the call. you know they don't wish to see you.."
takes over package, closes the door.
breathes.
she resumes her gaze to the laptop,
subconsiously ignoring the package dropped onto the seat next to her,
heart racing.
5 minutes of akward silence went by.
" don't you wanna see it? he said there's a card inside to you guys."
impatiently, she emptied the contents.
turkish tidbits, last minute aiport-bought keychains, turkish charm necklace.
" typical and insincere. " she muses to herself.
picking up the card with a dog on the cover, she raises an eyebrow.
the idea that it's from him fought back all her dog-loving nature.
squints her eyes at the wretched handwriting,
scanning through the contents.
lies, insincerity, putting on a show, nothing new.
she places the card faced down on the bar table,
turns around to head back to the sofa,
too weary to read beyond the third line.
" wait. come back. did you read this part? "
stopping dead in her tracks, she turns around,
an escalating sense of foreboring swallows her.
slowly leaning forward, she peers into the card once more.
magnifying each character written, creases formed between her brows.
"no.. impossible.. there's no way he could have found out. . who?
who could have fed him with this information? her.
no, he doesn't have her new contact number.
damn.. he really bugged the house didn't he?
what else does he know, what did he see... "
a series of thoughts raced through her mind.
the house spun, the lights dimmed, she knew she was losing it.
the knees gave way and she sinked to the ground, tears pouring down her face.
she randomly spotted something on the table that beckoned.
eyes regaining focus, she stared at the little white box decorated with health warnings.
damn all i need is one stick.
she sat down on the floor next to her, holding her while tears formed in her own eyes.
momentarily, her attention left that white box.
he's back.
he always comes back.
why can't he just leave us alone,
why does he have to disrupt the peace everytime i just settle down?
i fear what i see no end to.
i fear
you.
12:24 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
