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Sunday, August 06, 2006

sense of a family

I just finished brunch, and while I was washing the dishes it suddenly dawned upon me that this is the first time I stepped into the kitchen to do clean up ever since my dad moved out last year.
In fact we stopped dining in altogether since his departure.
Probably this was why I wanted to avoid my grandmama so much, because her stay with us brings back all that "family" feeling that I tried so hard to dodge for the past 1 year 2 months and counting. Although I didn't feel any emotional attachments nor any sad feelings, but it's just that I felt revelation.

Who knows? Maybe this was the very thing God wanted me to let go of slowly, thus sending my Grandmama over here out of the blue to help me conquer my fears, plunging deep into many aspects that I tried to hide from myself all these while.

I realised that, although this sounds cliche enough, but time really does heal, and that I may forgive, but I will never forget. 1 year plus has passed by; although I still hate it when I see pictures of my dad and I, or things related to him, but at least I know that inside me, I don't mind as much when we talk about him and sooner or later, I will not feel anything anymore.


Talking about family, I had a really nice time with Bella last night. We talked a lot, as usual, but yesterday we went more into serious topics and I had to say that it felt really good.

B.J KOH (if you're reading this) :
I wanna tell you I really appreciate your presence and, although we're down to only meeting once a week or so, I do think 'bout you whenever I'm too stressed to breathe or simply when something funny happened. I love the fact that there's nothing we can't talk about, and I don't feel ashamed telling you all my deep dark thoughts (you know what I'm talking about). Even more so, I love the fact that I have got you as my bestie in my life. Thank God for you, Thank You for you. (=

Anyway I was telling Bella that its high time I get myself a boyfriend, and Bella's proud of me that I don't jump blindly into a relationship although I do want to be in love. (= AND I'm proud of Bella for not sprouting nonsense when she's drunk. haahas.

I'm gonna prepare myself and head out now, so for the time being, That's All Folks.
Go Offline, Get Drunk, Go Make out, Get Wild.

2:43 pm


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