I can finally blog about my the people this semester now that a full 5 days have passed by with them, and of course, having seen all the facillitators.
Frankly speaking, against all the emotions of missing W15N, I think that this class is seriously more than I hoped for. Initially all I was hoping for was NOT to land in the same class as a few people I don't really acknowledge as aquaintances. Upon seeing the class list, I was hoping they weren't a bunch of deaf & mute ( dumb is rude, by the way) people. Now? I realised they are just as aggresive and fun as W15N. Except that they are really quiet sometimes, most of the time. Possibly more time is needed? Whatever the case, I just need noise in the room so that it doesn't seem to resemble a library whenever I'm not talking.
Lets talk about the facillitators. Having seen all 5 of them, I realised that Phyllicia Chew (Maths & Computing) wasn't that bad, 'cos with comparision I realised there are worst ones. Janine ( Entreprise ) is fun, but I don't know if she'll surpass Jamie 'cos it's still too early to judge. Gan Koh ( Culture & Communications ) is, well I can't think of much to say except I look forward to her future lessons as she seems to have plenty to give. Then again, I still miss Denise Yim, that ass-faci from my previous semester. I want Uncle Tam ( Basic Sciences ) back! He's simply more fun. Who else? Oh. Cognitive, no comments. Well ok maybe one. He's just... a tad bit less interesting and engaging as my previous?
But oh well. Thou Shalt Not Stereotype.
Not like what this entry is about.
10:57 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Thursday, September 21, 2006
just when i thought so.
It's pushing past breaking point soon.
As I was telling a certain friend online just moments ago, I seem to be drowning in a sudden downpour of emotional weariness. I don't know why too, or maybe I do, but I don't wanna admit it by saying it out.
Yes we all know how stupid girls can get when it comes to love. Maybe it's more politely termed as blind instead of stupid, but nonetheless short of one sense or another here.
Those who been through it can definitely identify a case of stupidly running towards someone whom you know for sure isn't gonna make anything happen, yet nothing can stop you from running towards the dagger aimed at your heart.
Then there will be the times where you know for sure your happiness lies there yet you run away from it because of the more "superficial" ( " " beacause some people really do find these important, for instance me ) factors tied into the package.
It get's tiring when you keep waiting and waiting for the bus to come, and they do but its all the wrong numbers, and finally when the right bus DO arrive, you're too tired to board it.
11:31 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
last day of holidays
For one thing, I realised that our school starts the earliest. There IS actually a price to pay for a 4-week Christmas break.
Boo-boo.
Had a fun day in town with half-face yesterday. People were staring, pointing, laughing. I figured out that people found his spongeBOOB tee + girl's pants + emo hair very, well emo.
here are some shots.
full face and half-face.
I tried to put myself in Mervyn's shoe,
and this is what I see.
HAHA. That's Deja Vu to all emo momos out there ain't it? That's what everything looks like you you, no?
Anyway Mervyn is coming over in 30 mins to (yes i know how this sounds) to try my pants and see he wants any 'cos apparently he wants "in-the-crotch" tight jeans, so i decided it's time i got rid of my baggier jeans for CASH. Tasty tasty CASH. I'm SO gonna make him help me do chores, yay!
10:14 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Saturday, September 09, 2006
she's leaving tomorrow
She's gonna depart now that she understands our misery.
i hope this doesn't change the closeness we learnt to share these days.
1:09 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
blast from the past
had a fun day with Caryn a few days ago, finally got to spend time with her since like, decades ago. Gilbert and friend joined us, they were crazy i swear.
To quote them?
" wa laos ehs. I is nots twits de lors. i dun friend you liaos lors. " IMMATURE! haha. now i understand Caryn's feeling ;p
love ya darling, go out again soon aite.
12:17 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Thursday, September 07, 2006
it's getting out of hand
Guilt-stricken, extremely. and we know why
Seriously speaking, I was SO on the spur of it that it felt perfectly normal. In fact I felt quite high.
Untill i saw him. With her.
I've heard quite a bit of her, all good stuff. Seeing her made me felt inferior enough, to make it worst still? I was doing it when he saw me.
She, being such a nice girl and all nailed me thumbs down, i had to admit. Inferiority issues? Certainly, most certainly. It struck me real hard to see them together, catching me in the act.
I suddenly wondered if all this was worth it just for the sake of fulfilling some urge. PLUS I had to risk the disappointment of a few particular people who don't turn away from me.
Right after I parted with Fizah, I couldn't bottle in my feelings anymore. Shame, jealousy, inferiority, "screwed-up"ness.. All began to sink in.
I called BJK, panicking. Over the phone she did not say much but I could hear it from her tone and her lack of response how she feels about it. And it made me feel terrible. Really terrible. I pissed her off thats for sure. Apart from that? I understood what was going on in her head, and it forced me to open my eyes to see my stupidity in this whole issue.
Not to mention that horrible label to bear. I have to stop this, I MUST. It's getting rather ridiculous.
Sorry.. To a few people out there who understands this post and feels pissed.
11:57 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Biennale Opening Party '06
Finally, the shots taken during the much publicised (by me) Biennale:
1st up, my new friend Cindy ( we call her Cin)
Voluteers gone crazy. Asri's from RP too! MAJOR blowjob there, my friend.
As for what we produced there? Here you go: PRETTY ain't it?
11:17 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
new obssession
i'm seriously very obssessed with this show right now, not only due to the fact that the leads are beautiful, but it touches me in an unknown way. maybe it's the good music input?
here's the ad. of this show, and this hottie is the lead:
and there's another:
and another:
and another:
hot ain't he not? haha.
here's the opening theme:
1:32 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Monday, September 04, 2006
for the sake of shunning prehenision
For the very first time people, you will see Crystal blog in chinese. Reason stated above (i'll probably burst if i don't blog this down) , I shall proceed.
that's it I'm dying already. so much effort all to hide this from your eyes.
10:58 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
NEW WISH LIST!
THIS is the reason why I need more cash:
- white hand bag - ALDO's red heels - TOPSHOP's skinny fit white jeans - FNT's top - new phone - hair job - Holga - Perfume - MONDO's heels
DAMN. I need a job.
10:44 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Sunday, September 03, 2006
will the last ever be a last?
I've been on my bed since 1am but the pop-up blocker in my brain doesn't seem to be functioning, which explains why am I still awake after 3 hours 57 mins and counting.
Just didn't seem like I'll ever be able to sleep again if I don't blog this down.
After the cheesy performance ended, I met BJK for dinner as usual. On the way there I was bubbling with excitement, not that I'm a lesbo, but just the sheer anticipation of getting hold of the stuff she got for us.
For the past 2 days working my ass off in the Biennale '06, the urge had been quite strong for some reason or another. I managed to get hold of one (from some artsy gay) during the Opening Party of Biennale, and within the next 24hours I got hold of another 10 from BJK.
Seriously, we went through quite some discussion and I'm sure we were both in a predicament before we decided on getting it (or even right now that we got rid of it). Predicament in the sense that we both knew it was sort of foolish and incorrect but then again even if we don't purchase it, we will still manage to get some from other people elsewhere be it on our own or together. Although there is the common understanding that we do not feel proud of this underground life, there was still inevitable distrust.
Not that I distrust BJK, but that I distrust myself more and to think of it, if we were to reach a stage where we can't even trust ourselves anymore, it's really quite sad. (I don't know if BJK can identify with this.)
Maybe that explains why I failed to fall asleep?
Right now we may be feeling stupid to think so much but then again who knows what "omega" would this "alpha" lead to? The main issue here is that we have overstepped our own values and principles, letting ourselves down over and over again (which lead to the distrust then, logically speaking).
I think it is, like what we keep telling ourselves, all in the mind. It is not the action itself in any wrong, but rather, the way we let it win over ourselves, trampling our pride with the idea of hypocrisy to none other than yours truly. Not that it will really be a last but just that we won't ever be addicted to it again. Believe that we are strong enough to fight back. Rock hard.
5:00 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Crystal Dies In The Most Random Ways.
Ok. I was doing this out of boredom since I couldn't sleep. Everyone else has it on their site, I can't lose out can't I?
Needless to say, I entered the site and typed in my Name and DOB. This is what I got on the first try:
Definitely not satisfied on being terribly missed by some electric appliance, I went back to see if they will roll different results on the exact same Name & DOB. Round 2:
