It's wednesday now, and I only have 4 days before I get water baptism, which means more than just taking a dip in the water. Truthfully speaking, I'm not even sure if I'm that ready yet. It's like something long due and by the time it finally comes, you start to doubt it.
Not that I doubt this faith, but I doubt MY faith.
Would I really be changed? No wait, that isn't right. DO I want to be changed? There are many occasions on which I know for sure He can overpower it take control, and change the situation for me but just to face the brutal reality of my inner self, I am putting red lights to it.
I:
- shy away from being changed into a better person.
- refrain from admitting my wrong-doings
- avoid repentance
Is that what Roy calls a part-time Christian?
After the baptism there will be some things, but none the less quite difficult to lay off things, that I can no longer do.
It's not just the baptism, it's a promise made to a nosy friend who cares as well.
(more at the other side)
