Thursday, May 31, 2007
48 hours of this song
And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her skies
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We'll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower's daughter
The pupil in denial
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes off you
I can't take my eyes...
Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you...
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind off you
I can't take my mind...
My mind...my mind...
Till I find somebody new
(curls up in one corner screaming in silence)
12:03 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
i don't know anymore
you're a bit of this
every now and then.
(just tell me what am I supposed to make of it)
say it like you mean it, please.
12:30 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Monday, May 28, 2007
bend and break
Phuture + MOS was fun but gone horribly wrong towards the end.
(ok wrong cos I don't remember anything that happened and -.)
Big thanks to Sean and Mei Yun for carrying me home.
Sorry to Elaine for ditching you on the dance floor.
so gone i was.
And urgh.
Fuck you, whoever you are that I can't recall.
People like you should be shot.
3:00 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
flashback
iTunes was running freely.
This song played.
All of a sudden I'm reminded.
We were lying next to each other,
looking into each other's eyes.
This song was playing:
No one ever saw me like you do
All the things that I could add up too
I never knew just what a smile was worth
But your eyes see everything without a single word
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me
If I could freeze a moment in my mind
It'll be the second that you touch your lips to mine
I'd like to stop the clock, make time stands still
'Cause, baby, this is just the way I always wanna feel
'Cause there's somethin' in the way you look at me
It's as if my heart knows you're the missing piece
You make me believe that there's nothing in this world I can't be
I never know what you see
But there's somethin' in the way you look at me
I don't know how or why I feel different in your eyes
All I know is it happens every time
The way you look at me
Mushy enough, we were howling along while still looking into each other's eyes.
I think I miss that moment.
Then again memories are just what they are, memories.
They hold no power to bring back anything or change anything.
11:56 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Friday, May 25, 2007
up next
(as i said, I know I don't usually say this but)
CHEE BYE LA I SPILT ICE LEMON TEA ON MY LAPTOP.
please don't die the way yeh ying's died.
don't die on me please.
FUCK IT LA FUCK IT LA.
so much for thinking everything was going right for once.
1:55 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
25
mutters obscenities.
(Everything has been going so gravely right since this morning)
2 months ago on this day I :
- did my hair
- went for the gas haus gig
- went to the station to visit him
1 month ago on this day I :
- woke up early to wait for him
- went for lunch in town with him
- drove for the first time
- spent the night at sentosa in a tent by the beach with him
Today I :
- Actually woke up 30 minutes earlier than usual.
- Reached school on time for the 2nd time this year.
- Had fruits early in the morning.
- Donned on spectacles looking like a sexay geek.
(although it was in preparation for wearing my contact lenses at night)
- Am hitting the clubs with MY, Sean, Mitchell, Jerome, and Alvin.
(new crowd, hope they clique.)
- Am expecting myself to get wasted totally.
I thought I'll never survive today.
I thought I'll be missing you to the bits.
Strangely though,
I never thought I'll be feeling this emotionless.
Too emotionless.
Like everything I expected would happen today isn't happening.
(and everything I didn't expect to happen IS taking place)
-trepidation-
What's up next I wonder.
11:09 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Thursday, May 24, 2007
and there are the times
when you really do hope that what you hear everyone is telling you isn't true.
at all.
(but then again it'll make things hard for me)
and i hate to say you're still on my mind all the time.
I don't know anymore myself anymore.
I don't know what to think of the situation.
Apathy is good sometimes, provided that you manage to practice it.
9:26 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Tuesday, May 22, 2007
friday night out
So we had the long awaited Home Club session last Friday.
The usuals (Hongky and Kenneth) plus Audrey! and Nigel.
Swear I've never seen anyone with a more China man look.
It was good as usual, and made even better with the non-stop alcohol and 2nd hand 1st hand smoking. Every throat surgeon's nightmare I trust, but never the less high high high.
Well we started out glam enough with the first drinks down,
but as the night went by,
i was reduced to not even remembering what I was doing.
According to them I was:
- dragging people around on the dance floor
- hitting on the manager
- hit on by the bouncer
- giggling non stop lying on the floor (wait I think I remember this one)
HAHA, total embarrassment. What was I doing/thinking?! The MANAGER? Sheesh.
Towards the end I realised (from Si Hong's blog) that I was caught in tonnes of mega-unglamness photographs.
Such as:
dozing off on the floor.
and waking up to the 2nd blinding flashlight.
and worst still stupid grins.
AS COMPARED to the 5 am me on the last last home visit:
there there. big difference, no?
ANYWAY, sucks to say Home is addictive.
(esp that hawt hawt door bitch that I so don't mind making out with. HAHAHA.)
Book me now for the next session please girls! (=
(added on)
How could I have forgotten to mention.
Miyanaga! Thanks for everything last night. <3 It was interesting hearing an asshole tell me about the ways of another asshole.
Thanks honey (and you should really stop squinting) (:
12:58 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Friday, May 11, 2007
Speeches You Hide At The Bottom Of Your Heart
Sometimes, we really want to tell someone something form the bottom of our hearts but then again, you don't know how to put it so you decide to procrastinate and do it like, next week.
Of course, time won't stand still for you. Before we manage to say it, things already take on changes and there's no point in saying whatever you wanted to say anymore.
I'm sure everyone has been through this before.
There was this time where I had some conflicts with a friend, but due to assignments that needed submission that few days, I pushed him aside saying,
"I don't want to talk about this now!"
At that point of time he said,
" Oh ok, we'll wait a few days then."
After finally finishing up what I had to do, I was in a much better mood and started thinking back about the whole conflict over and over again. I was thinking to myself that when we meet a few days later, I'm going to tell him what I think, then apologise.
Yet, when we met, we were both so hard up on dignity that I eventually did not apologise. I thought to myself again, maybe next time. Next time when we aren't in such a hurry and can talk things out I will apologise.
Thing is, before the next time comes, something else happened and by then, when I say what I wanted to say initially, would he still believe me? No. He'll definitely think that you're just trying to defend yourself for the new issue that arised instead of believing that it was truely your original intention. No matter what I say, it's not going to change the truth anymore.
We ALWAYS like to keep things in our heart and not say it, due to pride and probably a whole buch of other stupid reasons.
5:52 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
3rd day of missing school this week
and given that Wednesdays are off, I was only in school on Monday and disappeared the rest of the bloody damn week being sick sick and sick.
Crystal, you need to get well and head back to school like everyone is nagging at you to.
(or more like just Melvin, Zeraynne and Mitchell all the time. HAHA.)
It's 5.18pm, I finally woke up for the second time cos I kept dreaming that I had stuff to do online so here I am. And guess what I just did.
I went to my private PRIVATE blog,
(don't bother to start searching for it now, I've restricted the access anyway)
and shamefully, very shamefully, I began deleting away certain entries that I so confusedly/emotionally blogged about -. (no not my ex-boyfriend)
Yes I had to go so low as to deleting them to bluff myself they never happened, and even more so that I'll not have to be reminded about them everytime I see that blog. I realised that the whole episode of - is so ugly that I feel pained to be reminded of it, because along with the memories comes the reminder of how stupid I once was.
All those emotions, it was nothing more than me trying to convince myself I'm not doing the wrong thing, but in fact I was really just too lonely. Nothing more. Yes I feel disgusted about things that happened, how I kept feeding myself excuses to stay on "just a little longer".
(I think Bella knows what I'm referring to here, no not smoking if you're thinking that.)
Crystal, you're disgusting sometimes.
5:15 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
so much that need not be said
loves.6:14 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
the sweetest thing
12:51 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
all done now
For everything that happened last night I have to say,
you gave me all the wrong answers.
To everyone else,
we've officially broken up.
no questions please.
4:51 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Monday, May 07, 2007
higher hopes, greater disappointment.
So I said I'm ready to be over it.
You said you wanna meet up, hang out, I loved the idea.
Afterall, I did miss you a hell lot.
As much as I told myself not to get my hopes high, I was hoping it'll be a turning point.
But you had to spoil things by being shit stubborn, refusing to even apologise.
And now you're probably wondering why I didn't mention break-up after "lecturing" you as you called it. (I can't believe you were even telling me to shut up)
So much for hoping you'll change your mind, when you don't even see the need to apologise.
Don't be sorry, I've given up hope already.
Upbringing is different I understand.
It's just..
I'm crushed to remember how I thought you were my unintended.
This WAS for you.
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You could be the one Ill always love
You could be the one who listens to my deepest inquisitions
You could be the one Ill always love
Ill be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
First there was the one who challenged
All my dreams and all my balance
She could never be as good as you
You could be my unintended
Choice to live my life extended
You should be the one Ill always love
Ill be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
Ill be there as soon as I can
But Im busy mending broken pieces of the life I had before
Before you
9:16 am
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Sunday, May 06, 2007
renewed, refreshed.
4:17 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
to everyone concerned about me
No, I'm not ok.
Stop asking me, I don't wanna keep repeating the story.
(unless you're one of my girlfriends, which yes I need you girls very much.)
Status right now?
We're taking a break off each other. Spend some time alone to think.
to you: please make sense of everything and start thinking along my lines, because it's not that I can't live without you, but I don't want to.
11:24 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
