Friday, May 11, 2007
3rd day of missing school this week
and given that Wednesdays are off, I was only in school on Monday and disappeared the rest of the bloody damn week being sick sick and sick.
Crystal, you need to get well and head back to school like everyone is nagging at you to.
(or more like just Melvin, Zeraynne and Mitchell all the time. HAHA.)
It's 5.18pm, I finally woke up for the second time cos I kept dreaming that I had stuff to do online so here I am. And guess what I just did.
I went to my private PRIVATE blog,
(don't bother to start searching for it now, I've restricted the access anyway)
and shamefully, very shamefully, I began deleting away certain entries that I so confusedly/emotionally blogged about -. (no not my ex-boyfriend)
Yes I had to go so low as to deleting them to bluff myself they never happened, and even more so that I'll not have to be reminded about them everytime I see that blog. I realised that the whole episode of - is so ugly that I feel pained to be reminded of it, because along with the memories comes the reminder of how stupid I once was.
All those emotions, it was nothing more than me trying to convince myself I'm not doing the wrong thing, but in fact I was really just too lonely. Nothing more. Yes I feel disgusted about things that happened, how I kept feeding myself excuses to stay on "just a little longer".
(I think Bella knows what I'm referring to here, no not smoking if you're thinking that.)
Crystal, you're disgusting sometimes.
5:15 pm
Do you wannabe a superstar?
